the company you keep

The word “slow” was my daily guide last year. 

I shouldn’t have been surprised by how the messages it whispered showed up within my days and mindset at a snail’s pace.

I began a 30-day morning yoga challenge a few weeks ago. Twenty days in and I have assumed downward dog a total of eight times. 

I feel no shame.

I hold no judgment over my head.

Those two sentences are a revelation.

They are evidence of uncoiling my worn and weary default responses

by saturating each one with grace, ease, and understanding. 

That was Exhibit A, allow me to share Exhibit B. 

For the last two weeks, I accepted another challenge, a step challenge with a group of friends.

The first week, I finished somewhere a bit below the middle of the pack. This past week, however, revealed a different set of data. The first few days were strong but despite my intention to lace up my shoes for the final two days, I found myself encountering interludes (my fancy name for interruptions). Usually, I tend to avoid interludes. But these interludes were welcomed.

A catch-up session with my youngest daughter,  watching the Up Series with my oldest daughter. My mom and I spending time marveling at all the good and hard things that can be contained in a day. 

On Friday evening, when I opened my Fitbit app and scanned to find my name at the bottom of the heap, I was pleasantly surprised when my thoughts mirrored how I felt about my yoga practice.

I didn’t feel shame.

I didn’t feel self-judgment.

I didn’t feel my normal competitive mindset.

Instead, I felt the gift and beauty of company.

Just as there is not a mythical finish line; there is not a true bottom unless it is named and viewed as such.

Could I have taken more steps? Absolutely.

Perhaps the steps taken were the ones designed for that given five-day period.

I am not behind in unrolling my yoga mat.

I am simply taking my time. 

I am not at the bottom.

I am in good company.

I am learning how all the hills, valleys, and interludes in life are meant to be simply travailed.

They are not designed to elevate perfection, shunning inconsistencies.

They are a part of our life practice.

In the past, I would have given up for not showing up perfectly in my bare feet but now I am more interested in doing yoga thirty times versus thirty times in a row. 

Maybe the better challenge for me is to simply count to thirty.

Maybe it’s time to cease looking at my place, shift my gaze towards those who surround me, the ones bearing arrows pointing onward with them.

This is the type of company that is with me and for me, not competing against me.

What challenge makes you feel behind?

Keep unrolling the mat.

Keep lacing up the shoes.

Keep drinking the water.

Keep painting the canvas.

Keep learning.

Keep breathing.

Keep showing up.

You are in good company.